serious heartache.
endless feelings.
but duno how to say.

onli to stand by ur side.
when u need me i will be there.

Sleep..
from 245am to 1215pm..
from 230pm to 535pm..
wat u do call me? simple..
PIG..
haa.. i admit i am..
but if there is really nth to do,
sleep is really a good state to be in..
during slp i wont irritate mom,
mom wont scold me,
i wont stand in her way and etc.. good!

ard 545.. look down the window at atlantis park..
haiizzz..
those guys playin soccer again..
ok la.. jerseys very nice..
CORAL sec school team..
but big f*** ar?
cant even get pass me, this fatty..
shagged..
play with them? i rather stay at home watch tv..
useless.....

miss got so xin ku with her job..
but i cant really help her..
onli to keep on tellin her to take care..
to meet once again in 3 weeks time will be damn
SUFFERING.
my heart drop when i heard tt..
but i will go n meet u whenever i can de..
:)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*it doesnt doesnt make me doubt ur love.
thnks for telling me everything.

sunday:
soccer was quite simple and easy..
the sun is just so unbearable..

didnt lunch..
duno wat to eat..
LL, go home cook maggi mee..
slp until 415..
aiyooo..
so tired tt dun feel like goin work de..
but still drag my feets to ntuc..
work was simply nothing to do..
i slack nia..
now i am home..
online for ard 45 mins..
miss is still supposingly entertainin her cousins bah..

miss got basic cookin class today..
HAA..
at least she is trying...
:)

I AM SO SLEEPY AND BORED!!!!!
tml i shall start readin my bible..
"LABVIEW"
need it for fyp..
SUCKS..

sat:
met miss at ard 6plus..
so much of coincidence,
i bought herbal tea for her n she bought for me..
HAA.. exchange lor.. *funny

went changi V for dinner..
ordered sting ray, nasi lemak and roti prata..
miss ate abit of each..
really hor, next time i just order 1 plate..
if not i continue to be her vacuum cleaner,
i will just get fatter and fatter..
she duno where the ahguas hang ard..
haa.. innocent...

went century to watch just follow law..
err.. very lame very funny..
but kind of bored becz very easy story line..
can guess de..
guess miss was bored to death..

was our 1st mth together..
so i bought her,
JOLIN CONCERT ticket..
i knew she wants to go..
only the mouth say: "No" nia..
guess she shld be very happy ba..
:)

i want to see u smile everyday..

i should be slping now..
but i still got some unsettle stuff..
i cant think of any!!!
i lay down slpy, my heart oso cant slp..
cb.. duno wat fuck my brain doing..
useless!!!

rmb how i scold my ahgong last time?
now,
when he is somewhere floating and i cant see him,
i miss him..
the house seems sooo "new" without him..
i dun like changes..
its takes time for me to adapt..
ahgong por bi me..
let me strikes 4d, toto and big sweep.
i buy u fillet o'fish everyday..
*btw, my 2 sisters have notice,
those food use to pray ahgong, the taste has all
change. change to very plain lidat..
even the fish burger.. WEIRD?
ahgong really got "eat"..

soccer at atlantis was too easy for me..
the malays they nv improve..
the new boys wore nice sch team jerseys.(coral sec)
but they cant go pass me..
the ah bengs are noisy, but they din dare to play with me..
the ah lians..
ah lian..
PLS SIT PROPERLY!!! i can see ur panty!!!
yellow colour!!! i ask my fren see.. he kept luffing.
GIRL should sit properly de mah.. AIYO..
see liao i sway.. *foot pain.

i want to slppppppppppp
but i cant....
HELPPPPPPPPP ME!!!!!

v.HAPPY
with miss..
:)

CANOT go anywhere!

stay home n rot......

MAHJONG session..
conducted by MR poh senior..
i onli can say:
he is so good..
touch onli dun nid see oso noe the tile..
he teaches us how to win, how play..
well done..
we pay our sch fees..
he 1 win we 3 siblings..
$25.. playin 10 cents 20 cents nia..

cant go jenny hse and play with
the NTUC gang..
*sad*

while miss got so busy today..
i can onli slp and slp..
HAA..
can be owl for 6 nites,
can be pig forever..
HAAaaaaaaaa..

gonna meet miss SOON!
yes yes yes!!!

*true love is about being urself*
i really got it..
:)

very happy..
Very very happy..
didnt go out n bai nian..
but income was rather beautiful..

gameble with cousins.
big big WIN..
gameble at nite with mom and sisters..
big win..

HAHA!!
happy can!!!

today i keep making miss angry..
:(
paiseh ar...
heeeee.....

i suppose miss have discover the pig in me..
HAA!!
i simply keep slping ytd...
she suddenly becomes some delivery woman.. HAA!!

when i ask my sisters to slp on other days..
they simply refused...
ytd was the 7th day since ah gong pass away..
well done..
i was waiting for miss to come online..
on 1130pm..
sisters and mom together stand up and say byebye to me..
i was then alllll alone in the living room..
lights off..
left the candles on ah gong's table..
I SO SCARED CAN!!!!!
i call miss n say i goin slp le....
canot blame me.
ahgong was very fierce..
wat is he comes back n knock my head like he
always do? *faint*

my house totally no CNY mood sia..
ltr cousinS will be here to pray..
then we shall start our yearly gambling den..
AND F***, ytd i lost $60.. soccer all -1.5 die..
well done..

and to my miss...
i last saw her on thursday...
next time i see her will be on next friday...
WAAAAAAAAAA...
really miss miss sia...

today gamble HUAT ar!!!

2 nites beside ah gong bed..
4 nites of funeral..
total of 6 nites of sleepless nites..
who wants to challenge me?
now my body is like......... ACHING lah..

shag..
becz nv slp..
shagg..
becz suddenly ahgong i took care of 2 yrs die lidat..
shaggg..
becz i cant go anywhere..
shagggg..
no cny..
super super shagggggggggggggggg..
i see calender, i cant meet miss at all!!!
FUCK!

*i think i owe u alot.. sorry.....

i can emigrate to USA without any prob of jetlag le..
my body is now temporary goin a chage of time zone..
i will nap abit in the afternoon..
then after tt till the next morning, i will stay awake..
after i wake up from the nap,
my body just feel v v v v v v v v v v v v bad..
continuing it for 4 days alrdy..

*i wonder how my cousin can dun slp without 3 days... PRO!

its a beautiful V day..
i spend the last 2 yrs slping at home..
but this yr, its sth SPECIAL!!!
i will be buring/folding joss paper!!!
LOL..
funeral alot of ppl..
it certainly improves my PR skills..

miss finally gonna be back tonite..
HEE... happY!!!
i think miss will become aunty..
come back with big n small bags..
HAaHA..

now, my eyes are just all closing........
i am...
just....
very.....
tired.....

ZZZZZzzzZZZZZZzzzZZZzzZZZZzzzZZzzzZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZzzZZ

GONE.
he pass away so peacefully and quietly at 1230am..
without a word.
sister heard a puff from him, and byeeeee..

i was sleeping..
becz my shift is from 2am onwards..
i didnt spend the last breath with him..

i am like sooooooooooooooo tired can....
i cry until i so no energy..
no matter wat he also live under the same roof as me
for 18 yrs..
i see the hopeless face when he is bring into the coffin,
i cant help myself..
i was the 1 who nail the nails...
my eyes are like super polish alrdy......

now i just wanna slp first..
lady look after during day time,
guy during nite time.

the wake is from monday to friday...
OMG.. will be tiring..
GONE!

miss is gone too..
i really no mood to bid her bon voyage this morning...
hope she has a wonderful time at bkk..
and i miss her too!!!

*COMA mode

things getting so scary...
me alone watch ah gong..
wind keep blowing..
keep blowing..
weird sounds comin from him..
run to wake cousin up to accom me..
LOL..
paiseh siiaa..
so big then scared..
ehh... halo... i oso a human onli mahh..

nap abit bit..
tired..
very tired...
simply very tired...
but if tml he is still ok..
i shall go work..

while changing the diaper for him..
i touched his swollen leg..
its purple in colour..
vein is black in colour..
i touch it with bare hand..
first instinct onli, i can feel..
its like jelly, the skin is not together with meat..
WALAO..
i was jumping all ard..
then went toilet to vomit..
the smell is.... AArrGGhhhhh...

alot of relatives come my hse..
i like doin PR..
hello.. hello.. helloo..
i dun like...

my dear miss..
actually not i keep scoldin her la..
just like it goes naturally with my mouth..
doesnt mean it de..
in hours, she will be on the plane..

*and i will really miss my miss.....
*sigh*

i am so bored..

rmb 1 of my entry which i talk about the POH's stubbornness?
let me prove this correct again..
i have accompany ahgong for the last 16 hours..
we have took turns to tell him the good things..
like tell him to go peacefully n etc..
he is still holding on..
despite his last breath alrdy..
he is STILL holding on duno for wat reason..
SEE?
STUBBORN is inside POH blood.

his temperature keeps dropping..
his right leg is alrdy dead..
becz there is a blood clog there..
then whole leg swollen and vein turns black..
theres some fluid comin out from there..
we place tissue to prevent it spreadin on
the mattress..
i went to change the tissue..
the SMELL is damn terrible..
its 1000000000000 times worst than shit..
its decomposed alrdy..
i run to toilet vomit..
its a very very very bad smell..
i cant describe it...

one of the strange thing:
we try pulling his hand up..
but it will softly put down..
after i light the joss sticks for the ancestors,
his hand suddenly lift up by itself..
i believe there are alot of "ppl" inside his room..
who wants to bring him go...

time: 417am
onli me and mama awake..
i am really ok.. alrdy drink 6 cups of coffee..
i scared mama will faint anytime..
ask her slp she dun want...
she is awake for 23 hours alrdy..
running here n there...

*pana
bbq any prob pls call me..
i think i cant appear on any of the 3 days..
money issue pls follow the list i gave or discuss with ahmao.
otah faster go order at the black uncle tt shop asap..
satay order le.. on tt day 430pm go take..

work till 11am..
receive a bad news..
gong in danger..
thnk god, my uncle happened to be at wsd..
drive me and sisters down..

reach there,
mom alrdy there..
crying..
telling us, he suddenly stroke and heart attack..
doesnt respond to us alrdy..
sisters started crying..
even i started crying..
live together under the same roof le..
how can no feeling at all..

the doctor say tt
he suffer from stroke,
heart attack.
wat they can do is to let him survive on
oxygen, antibody..
he is so old le..
81..
wat for..
ask him got cure anot? he tell us rubbish..
then i ask him the ending is still the same rite?
its a matter of time rite?
he simply ans YES.
any old people would like to die at home..
we arrange him out lor..
waited for the ambulance for 3 hours!

now at home..
every1 waiting..
even ahma hated him so much,
i managed to drag her in to see him..
even my father golden mouth,
i managed to ask him to open..

gong is breathing out..
shivering..
waiting onli la..
waiting..
we keep asking him to go peacefully..
now got nth to worry about and etc le..
but he is still waiting...
look at his rib cage..
OMG.. i just canot imagine how BIG he is last time..

i just realise sth today..
u might be big..
u might be bad..
u might be arrogant..
u might be everything i dun like..
but when the day is near for u,
u are just a body laying down...
i just realise i shldnt let ppl affect me..
i shld be happy with my everything...

i feel so sorry to miss..
i keep scolding her..
keep scolding..
sorry.. i bad mood...

just saying i will be boring when miss off to bkk..
now,
i guess i will be damn busy le..
even i guess panadol i cant help le..
so paiseh..

*i want to hug miss and cry out loud!
sorryyyyyyyyyyy

class was slack..
everything so slow..
nice..

bought porridge for miss..
she so lazy!!!
collect money from yq and samuel..
tt sam..
hair like demon..

after sch,
chiong arrrrrrr!!!
went chinatown with miss..

we went k-ster..
haha!
it was sooooooo cold inside..
even i was cold, let alone miss..
she got the member card..
and i still see nth wrong with her hair..
while she continues to be bother with it..
HAA!!

went shop ard..
miss bought sweets and mango..
i bought alot of mua chi..
went maxwell for dinner..
and when did sugar cane got hot de?
LOL~

i got
P, B, S..
but i M..
HAHA.. *onli miss noes..

i found the shortest bus back alrdy!!
bus 59, change 17 at tampines..
whole journey take 50 mins nia..
fast!!

ahgong in hospital le..
they decided to send him..
i dun feel good..

*today is a nice day..
becz with miss..
:)

didnt go school today..
early morning, my mom go in disturb me liao..
i end up at sheng shiong carrying many boxes of oranges.
and many other cny stuffs la..

i bought a water dispenser..
26litres..
i thinking got pana chalet coming up..
water canot use pail liao mah..
like so lao kui..
so i buy la..
canot throw face mah..

i reach home n sis told me
my father golden mouth finally open..
he call my aunties and uncle..
wahaha..
tml he call doctor come my hse see ahgong..
he duno how to eat le..
hai!!!

my miss is so poor thing lor..
she like work like crazy la..
i want to scream at her can!!!

but tml we going out..
heeeee...

its 12mn le..
she haven reach home..
sigh....
*3 days b4 bkk

work!
after working,
came home, slack abit.
then went swimming le..
Swim - done
tanning - done
came home doing a huge project..

help ah gong to bath.
i hug him from infront..
its wet so friction not enuff..
he almost want to kneel down le..
i saw his face.
turn white, eyes close..
i tot he *ahem ahem alrdy..
father keep shouting to me
"nothing wan!!! carry him up again.."
i just realise where are my guts!!!
he now even 4get how to hold his fav fish burger..
i have to stand n suppot him, feed him..

and for some1 who lost his memory
suddenly tell my mother his elder n younger brothers
came n visit him..
its weird rite?
fact: both are dead..
suddenly my house alot of unknown visitors sia..
next time can ask them to take pass anot?
=x
we noe his end is near..
BUT WE WANT CNY...........

some1 who works non stop for 15 is crazy..
my miss is crazy..
i keep wondering to myself..
when did my girl need to work so hard de...
OMG..
xin tong!!!

now i hope she rest well n get ready for sch tml..
:)

tml i wont go sch..
all not goin..
knn.
i go there see the fucker face mehh..
siao!
i shld go gym!!
i have done up the chalet cost list!
yes yes yes!!!

miss..
so poor thing..
sick...
i wont just sit n see u suffer..
NONO!!!
u wont suffer with me..

i cant sneeze..
sneeze liao comeo ut all blood..
inside toilet every1 see liao offer me to smoke..
becz say i got cancer liao..
smoke liao la...
SIAO!
i smoke! miss strangle me!!

after UT, stay in class..
until miss call me n i went over..
she!!
she is playing game..
omg.. i canot play tt game la..
my blood will boil..

we took bus to tpy..
then went watson to buy her stuff..
HAHA.. i will be rmb by her in bkk..

i took bus number 8 home..
pana well done..
ur recommendation is faster by 15 mins...
LOL...

i am like sooooooooooooooooooooo hungry..
rmb about miss..
4get about my own meals..
haha..
a piece of snicker from morning until 830pm..
shui!

i tot i ask jimmy to ask work..
he agree..
but in the end,
he didnt go...
today nobody work lehhh..
die die...

i want to slp early tonite..
becz tml i want to see miss!!!
i really want.....

HAHA!
went to watch superstar final with miss..
xiao jie.. ppl taking pic.. duno how to siam mehhh.. walao.. dun cover mouth onli.. cover ur face..








such a LONG queue!! sooooooo MANY ppl..
when we got in..
exchange the free gifts with miss








so cold, so bright, so noisy..
as usual,
i was supporting DIYA, miss was goin with daren..
Actually during the first round,
daren convinced me he can sing.. =x
first time see miss face so shag..
becz diya is leading.. HAHA!!








cao ge!!
HE really can sing man!!
POWER!!!

after winner being announce,
CHIONG out liao!
walk all the way to geylang..
miss sooooooo funny..
first time there then so curious..
brought her to eat frog porridge..
she told me she was abit hungry nia..
but later, she simply cant resist the taste of it.. :)

brought her to walk ard geylang..
saw afew chks!
she so excited lidat..
but the whole street got a female - miss..
she wore a dress..
OMG..
all eyes on her!!!
1 round onli n i send her home le..

for 2 straight nites home with miss
for both time,
i landed inside Mercedes-Benz cab..
i SWEAR I bet soccer oso nv so lucky!!!

i think this few days i will be quite shag..
today work nite..
tml sch, got UT,
after UT go work again,
after work,
the next morning work again..
kaozz..
i bet there must be some metal contain inside my body..
HELP!!!

i want to blog!

i shld have just went to work this morning..
i shld have stay home and slp this morning..
i could have a brighter smile when seeing her later..

But still,
i went soccer..
its like pure utterly disgrace..
OWN BY SOME MALAY YOUNG BOYS!!
need to tolerate some individual SHIT!
0 teamwork.
0 passing.
0 shooting
all playing like...
FUCK!

nvm nvm...
after some scolding things do get back on track.
good..
constantly remind..
keep reminding..
but then maybe MY WORDS are all shit now..

i shall join pana,
MIA 2 mths, then join the "ting bu dao" club..
i shall join bob,
who ask me together we go play other sports..

the most cb is SHIT happened together..
reach home, let ah gong eat porridge,
whole bowl landed on the floor..
u noe porridge so sticky,
i need to wipe n mop soo many times..
CB!

its a bad day for me..
let me go into coma,
when i am awake,
its time to meet my dearest miss le..
:)

its onli a game...
i spend 10 yrs playing and understandin,
izzit still a game?

today work was busy la..
morning drink coffee,
go workplace still coffee..
gastric was abit weird..
got "hweeling"..

slpt for 1 hour and i am off to my journey..
its a ULU place..
it takes 1 hour plus to reach..
HAHA!
lucky i everyday got train taking bus..
but seriously,
Bus 88, pls dun take alone..
joruney sooooooooo long..

my dearest miss..
gave me wrong info..
HAHA..
i think i walk ard 2km,
in the end met her,
and still walk,
walk back same place..
AAHAHA..
blur la...

i didnt go pana hse today..
got this fever feeling,
dun wanna risk..
i WANT TO PLAY TML..
soo,
after this 2 panadol,
i shall slp!
:)

i lost all my bets today.
but i dun feel sad at all.
maybe tts the magic of her..

KING is BACK!
i can play soccer alrdy!!!
wahahahahhaha!

we started walking together..
we hope we can walk long..
whatever happen,
just rmb i will be beside u..
its not about time together,
its about time we think of each other..
:)
i noe i not possessive tt type..
or rather i am those very slack de..
errr..
so sorry if i seems cold and unconcern..

i managed to kick, shoot and score..
gentlemen,
KING IS BACK!!!
HaaHAHA.....

wats the feeling when u are hanging by a thread?
want to die oso canot..
want to live oso canot..
guessing about something is oso somehow the same?
u try to let ur imagination run wide..
they return back with lotsa diff scenarios..
u start to worry about 1,
then u worry about 2
and so on..
suck sia the feeling!!!
i dun like.
trust me more,
i am really ok with all ur decisions.
but u must tell me ar...
:)

after sch, theres UT.
forget to bring shirt and key for work..
call home for help..
mom say she cycle n pass to me..
wow!
who noes!!
MR POH bring to me sehhh..
alamak..
first time since i so old he pass thing to me..
NV ever b4..
work was not abit busy..
sian..
nothing to do is like more sian la..

sunday soccer i am back..
to all my kakis..
pls come down n play..
i am refering to ppl like panadol and samuel..
cmon give me some face..
come n sweat abit..
i oso not goin to play so often liao..
will sms u all again..
soon!

in another few mins..
i'm goin to watch the number count down again..
SIAN!
i like everyday see u chnage number see until i..
errrr..
duno how to say..
soon,
i will be alone for 3 days..
i hope the alot of shows will be enuff for me..
i hope at night i wont be too bored..
but i wish u have a great time there!
:)

*its all about miss again*

i am super tired..

miss gonna be sooooooo angry..

she misses her buses..
while today my buses kept coming..

she keeps taking taxi..
while i hardly took 1..

while i pump money into 1 company,
singaporepools.
she pump money into various taxi companies..
excellent business woman..

*all about miss*

my headache is back..
good luck!

ole ole ole ole..
spore 2 thai 1..
we are happily tearing newspaper and throwing..
LOL..
i just notice tt i shout until i very hungry..
thnks to the few mouths of beehoon b4 goin out..

"sorry mr poh,
the order that u have made couldnt be deliver on
the 14th of feb"
WAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..
song boo..
lidat i empty hand give present arrrrrrrrrrrrrr..

FUCK.